


So, so bad

by Deandeanmoose



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, First Dates, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-06 04:45:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18843907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deandeanmoose/pseuds/Deandeanmoose
Summary: Carisi and Barba go out on their first date.





	So, so bad

_As the day passed by slowly, Sonny ended it by sitting at a bar. His jacket tossed over a chair, hair disheveled, and a new beer at his lips. The sight wasn't unusual, he was a regular at this bar. What was different, however, was the man walking in. Dark salt and pepper hair, clean cut well-fitted suit and a striped tie loosened enough he could unbutton his top buttons_ _._

"Carisi?"

I glanced over, "Barba? This doesn't look like your scene."

"What is that suppose to mean?" He huffed, "quizás olvidaste que solo soy humano y que crecí para ser una familia pobre. (maybe you forgot I am only human and raised to a poor family.)"

The lawyer ordered a scotch and sat beside me as I shook my head, "Case got to you too?"

"How can it not?" He returned, "Listen, about my office today..."

"Don't bother, it was just stress." I looked down at the napkin the bottle was sitting on, "We are all stre..."

"I like you Carisi." He spoke over me but not too loud to draw eyes, "I would've said yes to drinks but you put me on the spot and Liv was about to walk in."

"That's why you're here."

"No, I'm here to buy you a drink and ask you out." 

This causes a long silence, then I looked at him stunned. The idea of this man I idolized actually liking me was warping my common sense. I should say yes, but I knew I had to say no.

"We really shouldn't."

"And if I don't care about work for one whole night, would that change things." He watched my face, "Sonny, don't make me ask twice."

"Maybe we can call this our first date." I smiled back with a light blush, "I mean if you would like."

"I would." He scooted closer, "So, am I going to hear that pickup line you started earlier or..."

"Or not. Preferably not." I blushed harder.

"You can't leave me hanging." He laughed, "If nothing lasts forever..."

I swallowed back the lump and forced out the rest, "will you be my nothing?"

Rafael's face was shining, a bright glow breaking with the loss of his clean and calm demeanor. He was laughing wildly with me now, the cheesy line far from what I had really wanted to say.

"You know this suit is very expansive. Really feel it. Go ahead, feel my shirt." He leaned in and offered an arm out for me to feel as I sat confused, "It’s made of boyfriend material."

We both cracked up, "Wow that is bad."

"I use to have a dozen or more lines like that in college. I'm ashamed of it now." He sipped the drink.

"You wouldn't believe the lines the perps use." 

"Try me." He turned to lean in.

"You've got more legs than a bucket of chicken."

I watched his face speaking more than words ever could, "You're like my two favorite letters of the alphabet: E Z."  

Yet another face as I finished with the best one yet, "The only STD I have is sexually transmitted desire... for you."

He choked a little on that one, barely holding back a blush showing his laughter trickling out, "Yeah, that was bad."

"The guy thought that would work. He thought that would entice her and it wouldn't be rape."

"We deal with some of the dumbest people in this job." He wiped his face, "I didn't think it was rape because we're married. She was sleeping in a dress. I thought she was dead." 

"That one still makes me cringe." I shivered, "Dead. Dead makes it ok somehow?"

It went quite a moment before he cleared his throat, "You know, my first dates are usually more high end than this. The last guy I was with was appalled I was planning on just drinks and the last girl... I don't know why I agreed to even go. Ella quería un restaurante elegante, un espectáculo y champaña como yo bebo eso. (She wanted a fancy restaurant, a show, and champagne like I drink that.)"

"So you prefer people you work with that want to get drunk and forget life?"

"Mutual goals." He shrugged as we both cracked a smile.

"At least I know you would've said yes." I sighed, "bad line or not."

"I've heard worse... I've probably said worse." 

"Worse than that?" I challenged.

"I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Because mine was just Stolen."

"Cheesy but not as bad." 

He licked his top lip and started again, "If I had to rate you from 1-10, I would rate you as a 9 because I am the one that you are missing."

"Ok, that was worse than mine."

"Wait, wait..." He held up his hand, "I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?"

I laughed at that leaning away from the older man, "How well did that one work?"

"I got a free drink... In my face." He smirked, "I didn't realize how bad I was then. I'm surprised I didn't get hit more then I did."

"Young and dumb." I offered, "In high school, I asked this girl out and she said no. So I showed up to her house with a big sign that said 'I must be in a museum because you truly are a work of art.' And she called the cops as I ran away."

"Bold move, maybe my college life wasn't too bad." 

To see his skin wrinkle so softly as he laughed was reassuring it was only a joke. But hearing him laugh made me wish I could hear it all the time.  _ **Why did I wait so long to even attempt to ask him out? I knew he teased me and played a part, why did I let it deter me?**_ As my thoughts swirled, a hand covered mine.

"In college, there was this guy I was working with for a joint mock trial. Building teamwork and all that." He waved his hand, "I liked him. I thought he liked me. We were drunk and I made a poor pass."

"Not as bad as my sign?"

"Well, you see... I don't care if you hold me in contempt, but just hold me... Was not the right way to ask."

We both broke down on that one, earning looks from people around the bar. The bartender shook his head walking away from us with a small smirk, hiding the chuckle he wanted to let out too.  ** _I wish it was always this easy._** As the night passed slowly, our chat idly ticking on but not in a bad way. After a while, we watched others around the bar and hid laughs as we saw them trying to flirt. One guy down the way even made several passes at women.

"Hey baby wanna sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!?"

I saw Raf's face twist and couldn't hold it back, "That was so, so bad."

The man glared down at us as Raf leaned in, "He wins for the night."

"Excuse me." 

We both looked at the tall neanderthal man glaring at us.

"Our apologies." Raf waved his hand dismissively.

"If you have something..."

"Listen, we don't want any issues." 

My words discarded as he shoved me against the bar. My hands went up to defuse the situation, but the other mans swung for me. A quick duck saved my face and Rafael gave a rough shove to move him away.  _ **Definitely not my normal first date.**_ When the guy came towards us and lifted a bottle to break, I tackled him to the ground. A bar fight wasn't my favorite thing but it was quite exciting.

Once it cooled down and we were escorted out, I looked at the man to my side, "So I wasn't expecting a bar fight first date."

"I always prefer to surprise my dates." He smirked.

"That was a bad first date." I glanced at him.

"Oh yeah. So, so bad." 

We both laughed as we turned to walk down towards my place. Night air fresh as cheap day old scotch pouring in the bars and a breeze forcing it to us. Why it wasn't the most pleasant, it was oddly fitting.

"Sonny?" I heard Raf finally break the silence.

"Yeah?"

"This was a bad but great date. Sorry, it took so long."

"Careful councilor, You are starting to sound as cheesy as those pick up lines." I raised a brow, "I don't care if you hold me in contempt, but just hold me?"

"That's it, detective..." Raf stopped on the sidewalk, shoving me against the nearest brick wall, "I'm holding you in contempt."

His lips met mine and I blocked out the world around us.  _ **I guess it was good that we didn't plan this,**_ _ **this night is ending well.**_


End file.
